Sorry, this iPhone is doomed because the next iPhone will be better

The iPhone 15 line has not even hit the streets yet but it’s high time for us to determine once and for all how it’s doing. The Macalope thinks we’ve waited long enough.

People were, as usual, weighing in even before its announcement. Used tech site SellCell (see what they did there, they combined “selling” with the popular 2000 Jennifer Lopez movie “The Cell”, very clever) released the results of a survey that said:

44% of Android Owners Say Move to USB-C Will Tempt them to Buy iPhone 15.

SellCell survey

Wow! You mean it was all about Lightning cables this whole time?!

They really hated Lightning cables. They really love USB-C. It’s that simple.

The Macalope has been saying for not just years but decades that surveys of buying intentions are meaningless. Heck, surveys taken at 11 a.m. of what people plan on having for lunch probably aren’t accurate.

“Well, I was gonna have a salad buuut then I passed the mini donut place and…. well, mistakes were made.”

Sure, if you already have a bunch of USB-C cables lying around, knowing you wouldn’t have to buy a whole mess of new cables would make you more inclined to buy a particular phone. But do not for a second think that 44 percent of Android users or even a fair share of that 44 percent are going to switch to the iPhone 15.

Will some? Sure. Probably. But we don’t really know how many Android users will switch to the iPhone 15. What we does know is that SellCell has now been linked to a lot because of that survey. And maybe the real switchers were all the links we received along the way. Or something.



This is not to say that at least some models of the iPhone 15 aren’t doing just grand right out of the gate.

“Kuo: iPhone 15 Pro Max Seeing ‘Robust’ Demand, Shipping Estimates Extending Into November”

Could even Apple build a phone so expensive that camera fetishists would not swarm to buy it? We still don’t know!

In a post on Medium, Kuo said iPhone 15 Pro Max demand has outpaced iPhone 14 Pro Max demand during the equivalent period last year.


Please, the customers begged, make the phone more expensive. And Apple answered. (Yes, technically, with inflation the new phone with the same storage capacity is cheaper than last year’s model, but Apple has also forced anyone buying a Pro Max to pay $100 more for storage they may or may not have wanted.)

Still, people just want that sweet, sweet camera.

However, he said demand for the iPhone 15 Pro is weaker than it was for the iPhone 14 Pro so far…


The Macalope doesn’t even know what to do with you people anymore. Apple fans will spend a summer fretting over higher iPhone prices and then buy them up rather than go to therapy, apparently.

The iPhone 15 Pro Max is an impressive smartphone. That 5x optical zoom is a feature even small phone fans such as this mythical beast can be tempted by. But as long as we’re going so far as to rate the sales of phones that haven’t shipped yet, why not talk about phones that haven’t even been made yet?

“iPhone 15 Pro Max’s 5x Optical Zoom Lens Rumored to Expand to Both iPhone 16 Pro Models”

You want the 5x optical zoom but don’t want the added size or cost of the Pro Max? Just wait a year! Heck, iPhone 15 Pro Max deliveries are out to November already, so it’s not even a year you’ve had to wait if you haven’t ordered one yet!

Look, the Macalope really shouldn’t do this, he was sworn to secrecy, but…

C’mon, lean in.


Okay… what he’s hearing is…

…the phone you want…

…is the iPhone 17.

This is what he’s hearing.

Reliable sources indicate it’ll have all the things.

Now, there are, of course, people who will tell you to wait for the 18. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves.


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